Friday, June 4, 2010

Sit back

I have never been good at sitting back and letting things in life happen naturally. I have a hard time handing things over to God and trusting that it will all be ok. Right now there are quite a few things in my life that I have no choice but to sit back and wait to see what happens. I have to trust in God and let it be. I cannot begin to say how hard that is for me. I start getting so anxious and worried that I start to freak out at night. I am learning to let go. I really do not have a choice right now. I have no control over the people in these situations or in the outcome.

I have to step back. I wish I could just run far away but I cannot do that right now. I feel like I need something to jump start me back to enjoying life because in all honesty I do not. You know that saying...Life's a bi%6h and then you die? Yea...I could be the poster child for that saying. I want it to be different. I need it to be different. And this summer I am hoping I will discover some of that along the way. I need to let go of fear and discover what I truly am capable of. I think it is going to be a long journey.

Photo by: Ben

1 comment:

  1. I have spent the past 2 months have the same feelings. I get worried thoughts in the middle of the night and can't seem to function. If you ever need to talk, feel free to pmail me or email me. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.