Thursday, April 17, 2014

Heartbreak

I really went back and forth on if I wanted to post this or not. I try to keep my blog somewhat happy. But it's not just about the good times but about our life. So I'm going to post this anyway. 

On Tuesday we had one of the most heartbreaking things happen to us. I was getting the kids ready for school and went to give Tinkerbell (our beloved chinchilla) some water and found her dying. I left the room for a few minutes and came back and she wasn't moving at all by that time. I was devastated. Macie saw the look on my face because she had walked into the room and she knew something was wrong. I had no choice but to break their hearts before school. 

We all cried and cried and I dropped them off at school and came home to get ready for work and bury Tink. I went to pick her up and HER LEG MOVED! She wasn't dead yet. And I lost it. Tink was our baby. Our heart and joy. For all of us. I immediately called hubs and told him "Tell me what to do." The reason I asked him was because I had to be at work ASAP and I've gotten in trouble for calling in already. Kids get sick and that's life but apparently an employer does not care the reasoning. So I was told if I called in again I would probably be terminated. I also asked him because exotic vet visits are very expensive. Hubs got a new job months ago and it tripled our income(hooray) but I knew this would be all at once. Huge vet visit and me possibly losing my job. We discussed it for a few minutes and as I was watching her die in front of me the answer became clearer. And then hubs said "Do what we need to do. I'm leaving work now and I'll meet you there." I called a local vet and asked if they would take a chinchilla for an emergency. They said yes. I wrapped her up and sped down there. They took her right away. 

After a few minutes the vet came in and said I should let her go. That it would take a miracle. And I lost it. I honestly can't remember loving a pet as much as I loved her. The tears wouldn't stop and I told her my husband was on his way. She said she would try everything she could in the mean time. Hubs finally got there and they came in with her and said they couldn't do anything else. She was holding on but barely. 

We decided not to put her down. We just couldn't. So we decided to take her home and try a few last resort things and the vet said she would send antibiotics with us if by some miracle we got her to perk back up. Hubs left with Tink to get Pedialyte (as suggested from the chin online forums) and I stayed to pay the bill and get the meds. He called before I left and said she was gone. They told me if I wanted to bring her back I could and get her paw prints made. After work I did get them done and they made such a sweet plaque for her. I cried so hard that at work my eyes were on fire. I didn't even put on makeup. Hubs has cried twice in 12 years of marriage and he actually cried when he called his mom. 

It's been a few days and we are still heartbroken. There are just no words. Every night she would come to her cage and give us kisses goodnight. Her little personality was so strong. We miss our sweet girl. I just needed to type this out I guess. It hurts so bad. Other than a cat I had as a child I can't remember hurting so bad over a pet. They couldn't give us a reason. Chins have incredibly long life spans and we just don't know what happened. The vet said it could have been a UTI or something we just couldn't notice. 

Thankfully my job was very nice about me being a couple hours late and the vet only charged us $50 so that part ended up fine. It just left our hearts shattered. We miss her every single day. I am thankful we got to say goodbye to her. She passed while hubs was holding her so I take comfort knowing she knew how loved she truly was. 


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